Too Young To Give Up on Looking Silly

I got this problem.

Maybe you picked up on it when I was carrying on about animal masks, but I'm going through a quarter-life crisis.
The thing is: I am not getting any younger. So dressing young, crazy, or inappropriate isn't getting any easier. I need to carpe diem, as far as outfits are concerned. Especially ridiculous or trendy ones.
NOW: like I'm sayin', I'm getting kind of old (older than Rihanna, people), and so is my fashion sense. So I'm resistant to dress up like all those young guns that are still hanging on to nu-rave and wayfarers. They look like jackasses most times! And the strings they tie around their foreheads? What IS that?!?!

No no, not this. I like this! I oughta put more effort into my hair.

But here's the thing: every day I don't wear a leotard brings me closer to the day when I ABSOLUTELY cannot wear a leotard.
I should loosen the fuck up. I should have some guts. Some energy. I currently regret never being a goth in high school, and I should do something so I don't regret not dressing like a crazy when I had the chance. OF COURSE only when the situation is appropriate. Go-outs, for example. I should be dressing crazy as hell for that stuff. To distract people from my behavior.

Fuck, I'm younger than Lady Gaga. I can do whatever.

PS. Tip: suspenders are something. Get 'em before they're gauche. Trust me. When have I ever steered you wrong?